The Greatest Book Ever Written?
Different people find comfort in different places. Linus van Pelt found it in a blanket. Southerners find it in “comfort foods.” Addicts might find it in any number of vices. Mormons know that peace can be found in temples. I find comfort in the Gospel According to John.
The 21 chapters of John are full of beauty – in words; in concepts; in what is taught about the nature of Christ; and in what is taught about His relationship to us and ours to Him. We believe in seeking after things that are virtuous, lovely, and praiseworthy. When in doubt about where to find such things, turn to John’s rendering of the gospel. Here are some of the beautiful and comforting things we find there.
Chapter 1: Besides the poetic beauty of “the Word,” we read twice the invitation, “Come and see,” which in many ways sums up the simplicity of strengthening our testimonies. Come, do, and see for yourself what living the gospel of Jesus Christ does for you.
Chapter 3 (and 7 and 19): We learn of Nicodemus, “a ruler of the Jews,” who loved Jesus and whom Jesus loved; whom Jesus taught and ministered to; who stood up for Jesus, though perhaps too quietly.
Chapter 4: The woman at the well, a Samaritan. Another example of Jesus ministering to an individual. We find him here responding to his own questions: “If ye love them which love you what reward have ye?” and “If ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others?”
Chapter 5: Here is an illustration of Jesus as the Master Healer. Four times in the story of healing of the man at the pool of Bethesda, we read the phrase “made whole” and we are beautifully reminded that we, too, can be made whole. We also find a sermon-in-a-phrase when Jesus afterward “findeth him in the temple.”
Chapter 6: The Bread of Life sermon! “I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever.” When his teachings were ill received, we hear sadness in the voice of the Savior, “Will ye also go away?” And we read Peter’s confident and faithful reply, “To whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life.” I am reminded that there are many others to whom I could go, but none others fulfill the Savior’s promise when he said, “Come and see.”
Chapter 7: Living Water! In this chapter, the Savior follows that “come and see” invitation with the promise, “If any man will do his will, he shall know.” But the most tender part is when he stood among the masses at the conclusion of the feast of tabernacles – a conclusion which featured a great outpouring of water, literally – and cried, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.”
Chapter 8: The woman taken in adultery. “Neither do I condemn thee. Go and sin no more.” There is hope for me! Talk about comfort!
Chapter 9: My favorite story. First we learn that not all hardships are the result of sin. Then we learn (again) that the Savior can do the “impossible.” Then, as in Chapter 5, we learn (again) that the Savior continues with us in our needs when he “found him” again. Perhaps most beautiful of all, we read the healed man’s perfect response to the “come and see invitation: “One thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.” Amazing grace!
Chapter 10: The Good Shepherd. He is the door to the sheepfold. And He is the Good Shepherd. The hireling “fleeth,” but the Good Shepherd knows his sheep and they know Him and He gives his life for them. “No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself.”
Chapter 11: Lazarus. That we may know that we are never beyond Christ’s capacity to heal. Everyone should read Crime and Punishment.
Chapter 13: “If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.” Indeed! And this: “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” Can any men, let alone all men, see me as the Savior’s disciple? If ye have not charity, ye are nothing.
Chapter 14: More gems: “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” And speaking of comfort… “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
Chapter 15: “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.” And again, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” And yet again, “These things I command you, that ye love one another.” “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.” I should like to be his friend. It feels wonderful to be loved by Him. I must increase my love for others.
I will stop there, but one last thing about the book of John—perhaps my favorite thing. John refers to himself, not by name, but as the one Jesus loved—at least four times. (The word “loved” is found in John more often than in Matthew, Mark, and Luke combined.) I imagine if I spent time with the Savior, I, too, would no longer think of myself as Chris, but as one Jesus loved. Perhaps it is no coincidence that in all four of those verses, John also refers to himself as a disciple.
Is the Gospel According to John the greatest book ever written? I don’t know. But it’s definitely in the top two.
May I (and you) be His disciple and His friend. May we drink living water and partake of the bread of life. May we love one another. And may we truly “come” and “see” and “know” – that He can heal us and that His peace is real. Happy are we if we do.
Follow-up to… On Prayers, Answers, Timing, and Importuning
Last week’s post brought some interesting responses – three of which I’d like to share with you.
First, I received this question: “Sometimes I struggle to know if God just wants me to keep asking or if he’s already answered my question with, as you say it, ‘Let’s hold on to that one for a while–it’s not the right time.’ How do I know which is which?”
I’m curious to know how you all would answer that, but here’s my answer: If what you’re praying for is ultimately important and likely aligned with God’s will, I would never stop praying for it. However, all such prayers should include expressions of submissiveness and a willingness to wait on the Lord, such as: “thy will, not mine, be done” and “help me to learn the things I need to learn” and “help me to be patient and submissive and productive while I wait” etc. Then, such expressions should be backed up by two kinds of actions: those that will help bring about the desired blessing and those that will keep you moving forward if the desired blessing is not granted. On the other hand, if the thing you’re praying for is ultimately not critical or is only doubtfully aligned with God’s will, I wouldn’t persist in praying for it for long.
Second, I was told that Elder Holland just delivered a talk on living after the manner of happiness. Excellent!! You can read that talk here.
Third, I received a copy of an important poem, which I think poignantly reflects how many of us sometimes think and feel about the answers we receive to prayers. You can read it here.
On Prayers, Answers, Timing, and Importuning
Does every prayer get answered? What does it even mean for a prayer to be answered?
Matthew 7:7 suggests (rather clearly) that every prayer is answered. Arguably, it even suggests that every prayer is answered favorably and might even imply to some that all prayers are answered immediately. At least, it says nothing about answers ever being “no” – nor about our having to wait for them. The Savior said:
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?”
This same passage is similarly repeated in Luke 11. However, before going there, I would like to state one emphatic belief of mine: every prayer is answered.
However, I do not believe that every prayer is answered the way we want. We do not believe that God is like the genie in the bottle, there to grant us every wish exactly when and how we like – or even at all in some cases. Some answers are “yes.” Some answers are “no.” Some answers are “not right now; let’s hold off on that one.” And some answers are “you need to struggle through this one on your own for your own benefit; I’m going to let you do that.” You could come up with your own variations on those themes, but that’s how I see it. In fact, it troubles me whenever I hear someone say their prayer was answered, when they say it in a way that suggests that the proof of it being answered is that they got what they wanted – which in turn suggests that their prayer would have been unanswered if they didn’t get what they wanted. I think we need to be careful to never suggest that “answered” prayers are comprised only of those whose answers we like.
Back to Luke 11. This is an interesting chapter! It begins with one of Jesus’ disciples asking him to teach them to pray. The Lord responds with what we know as The Lord’s Prayer and eventually gets into words similar to those in Matthew 7, quoted above. But, interestingly, between those two things he asks his audience a question involving “importuning,” which, according to Google, means “to ask someone pressingly and persistently for or to do something.”
“Keep asking, keep searching, keep knocking…”
Let me quote Luke 11:5-10. However, I’m going to quote the International Standard, rather than the King James, version. (The everyday language of the ISV may be startling to some Latter-day Saints, but I find it insightful sometimes to review other translations of the New Testament.) It says:
Then he told them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, let me borrow three loaves of bread. A friend of mine on a trip has dropped in on me, and I don’t have anything to serve him.’ Suppose he answers from inside, ‘Stop bothering me! The door is already locked, and my children are here with us in the bedroom. I can’t get up and give you anything!’ I tell you, even though that man doesn’t want to get up and give him anything because he is his friend, he will get up and give him whatever he needs because of his persistence. So I say to you: Keep asking, and it will be given you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened for you, because everyone who keeps asking will receive, and the person who keeps searching will find, and the person who keeps knocking will have the door opened.”
The part I italicized is rather interesting. It is a completely different translation than the KJV because it adds in the “keep asking/searching/knocking” part, which doesn’t seem to exist in the Greek text at all. I’m definitely not suggesting the ISV is a more literal translation of the text. Nevertheless, isn’t it expressing what we believe? And isn’t that, in fact, what the Savior is teaching? Verse 8 in the KJV says, “I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity [his “pressingly and persistently” asking] he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.” (Emphasis added again.) The Savior is teaching that receiving doesn’t always immediately follow asking; nor finding seeking.
That teaching might remind us also of a parable the Savior teaches seven chapters later – a parable which begins with an instructive preamble!
“And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily.”
Now that last word is a little confusing, as is the comparison of God to an “unjust judge.” Nevertheless, the teaching seems unmistakable: men and women ought to pray repeatedly over the long term and never give up praying, because, even though answers will come “speedily” when they do come, they won’t come necessarily immediately. Some answers take time. And sometimes the answer is “no” and sometimes the answer is “wait” and sometimes the answer is “you’re on your own.”
Blessings, in real but not pre-specified forms, always follow obedience quickly (see Mosiah 2:24 ). Prayers, however, are not always answered the way we wish. Nor are they always answered the way we wish without consistent “importuning.”
What, then, should we do about our frustrations over our prayers not being answered when and how we want? The same thing we should do when our prayers are answered exactly when and how we like: be humble and submissive; maintain a broken heart and a contrite spirit; trust in the Lord and wait on Him. Getting impatient and angry with God will not result in happiness. Waiting on Him with faith and submissiveness, however, is critical to living after the manner of happiness!
On Being Strong Men
Recently, this scripture caught my attention: “Or else how can one enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man? and then he will spoil his house.” (Matt. 12:29)
These words were spoken by the Savior in the context of casting out devils, but I wonder if a simple application to modern homes and families wouldn’t be appropriate. Isn’t it true that the best way for Satan to take down a family is to bring down the father? I don’t know, but it certainly seems true on too-many occasions.
Men are particularly susceptible to sexual frustration, addiction, and misconduct. Some struggle emotionally to cope with anger and other negative emotions. Men are also more likely than women (at least in my observation) to struggle with faith. A man’s divine tendencies toward the practical and logical can be a double-edged sword. Those thought processes may either strengthen or weaken his resolve to exercise faith.
Meanwhile, the good that can be done by men is truly awesome. Wives desire husbands who are kind and faithful. Like God, himself, many wives are willing to overlook a man’s imperfections when his heart is sincere and true. Children love fathers who are kind, loving, honest – and act like they’re going somewhere that is good and purposeful and includes the family. Not in every case, but generally, wives and children will follow such a man, wanting to be where he is and go where he’s going.
A man’s role is to protect and lead his family. Of course, protecting them means spiritually and emotionally and not just physically. Protecting them doesn’t mean over-protecting them. On the contrary, it means creating a safe environment through which they can increase their own capacity to protect themselves and others.
When a man is, as the Savior mentions, “strong” – meaning less that he has large muscles than that he is faithful, generous, devoted and accepts his role as a stand-in, of sorts, for the Savior – the family is far more likely to be safe in every important sense. If, however, the Adversary can find a way to “bind the strong man” through sin or faithlessness (or both), the risk of the family becoming “spoiled” increases dramatically.
May I – and all the men I know and love – be “strong men” as the Savior desires, as our families desire, and as our true, divine, masculine natures incline us to be. Doing so not only brings safety; it is a critical part of living after the manner of happiness.
Three Keys to Happy Relationships
A year or two ago, we administered an anonymous, on-line survey in the Highland 22nd ward among the adults. 62 people responded, including 25 men and 37 women. Most had been married between 10 and 25 years, but some less and some more – and a few not at all.
In the survey, we asked five questions, including these three for which they had to come up with their own answers:
- If I had a daughter, I would advise her to look for the following 1-3 characteristics in a potential husband.
- If I had a son, I would advise him to look for the following 1-3 characteristics in a potential wife.
- I appreciate these three things the most in my spouse.
After tallying up the answers and identifying the top three responses to each of the questions, it was interesting to note that all three questions yielded the exact same top three answers. The more I have thought about those three things, the more profound they have become to me – their simplicity contributing greatly to their profundity. It you want to be a good spouse, you should (in no particular order, according to our survey):
- Be nice
- Be committed
- Be productive
Recently I’ve wondered if these aren’t also three critical keys to being a good parent. I’m fond of thinking that parenting might be best measured using the same yardstick Preach My Gospel promotes for measuring missionaries – by our commitment to bringing souls to Christ. The three ideas of being nice (including a whole host of kindness-related attributes), being committed (to Christ; and also to our families), and being productive (demonstrating our commitment through discipline and hard work) seem like three important ways we can help our children know and love the Savior.
Here’s a quick look at what these three things do and don’t look like. Without beating yourself up about your imperfections (seriously! my goodness, ladies, give yourself a break – God does!), ask yourself if being better at something here wouldn’t improve your effectiveness as a spouse or parent (or probably fill in the blank for any other relationship).
Being nice looks like:
- Being patient
- Showing interest in their interests
- Being gentle
- Being affectionate
- Acting happy to be with the person
- Pulling your weight
Being nice does not look like:
- Being critical or sarcastic
- Using harsh language
- Ignoring people or being non-communicative
- Being manipulative or controlling – even with kids
Being committed looks like:
- Acting as well at home as we do at church
- Worshipping privately
- Attending the Saturday evening session of stake conference (and similar)
- Serving in callings; loving those we serve; and magnifying the calling
Being committed does not look like:
- Putting anything else in our lives ahead of the Savior, his gospel, and his church
- Worldliness, including the pursuit of things or excessive emphasis on our own appearance
- Selfishness or a lack of humility
Being productive looks like:
- Being busy / “anxiously engaged”
- On the things that matter to the Lord
- And that matter to our spouses and children
Being productive does not look like:
- Watching T.V.
- Living an unordered life in an unordered home
- Over-indulgence in hobbies and personal interests
- Being the person who never shows up to help someone move or clean their home
The Savior showed us these three things. Living prophets today also demonstrate them. The better we are at them, the better our relationships can be. And relationships are everything. Don’t you think?
Living "after the manner of happiness" 